A Story - "At the Root of It All" and Walking on the Hill

 "I tried the mindfulness exercise you gave me last week," Dana shared with the therapist.

"How did that go?"

"After a few minutes, I felt more relaxed, but then reality hit again. I don't think zoning out periodically throughout the day is going to be much help."

"But you've only started. Give it time."

Dana gave the therapist a long look.  "I don't see how it is going to help my underlying anxiety. I'm worried about getting sick, I'm worried about losing my job, I'm worried about dying."

"You're a healthy young woman. You'll be fine. You're smart and organized. I'm sure you are valued at your workplace."

"That's a lot of denial. My aunt died of cancer when she was 40.  She used to run marathons. My dad was a senior executive and lost his job when the company restructured. He never found another executive position.  And guess what, my best friend died in a car accident."

The therapist wasn't quite sure what to say. She didn't have any sure answers.

"You want me to pretend that nothing bad will happen to me," Dana said, "but bad things happen to regular people all the time.  Life doesn't offer any guarantees. How can I not be anxious?"

"Well, the odds are you'll be fine."

"Somebody always wins the lottery, " Dana replied impatiently.

Back at her house, Dana felt another wave of panic smash through her. If her therapist had no answers, who did?

She got out her journal and made a list of her fears. Beside each one, she wrote out what she believed to be a deeper fear related to it.  She realized her fear of getting sick was based on a fear of pain, a fear of abandonment and ultimately a fear of death.  As she continued through her list, she began to realize that all the fears, in the end, lead to a fear of death.  So, she thought, I really only have one fear.  It was a big one. How could you not fear death? And yet, she knew some people who didn't fear death.

A new goal emerged.  She wouldn't try to stifle the myriad of fears that assailed her.  She would look death straight in the face and she would find a way to come to terms with it.

At the back of our house. the land drops off significantly. My son cleared a path through the scrubby bush a few years ago to make a walking path down the hill. It is about 300-400' long so not that long but because it is fairly steep it is a good way to get exercise.  In the middle is a short flat area where I usually take a little break. In the distance, you get a view of the bay.

Closer to the house, the land goes up sharply again. I really like all the moss that is starting to cover the ground.

When the sun shines on it, the moss is quite the electric green.  Because the topsoil is quite shallow in this area, big hardwoods like maples, birch and hickory aren't able to grow here. Unlike our old home where we had lots of native spring bulbs like trilliums, dog-tooth violets and Jack-in-the-pulpit, this spot isn't able to support those plants. 

Moss, rocks, and dried leaves make a pleasant combination.

A Story - "Time Well Spent" and Cyclamen Indoor Plant

A Story

Time Well Spent

 His hand hovered over his phone. She looked lovely. But he had experienced so many rejections on the dating app. Sometimes a couple of emails were exchanged and then nothing - ghosting. Maybe he should give up. So much negative feedback was hard on his mental health. He knew he was only average looking and he was just 5'8". He did have a good job but maybe he came across as a bit of a nerd. So many women wanted tall handsome men who were sporty and fit.

Taking a deep breath, he sent a rose and a message.

Later that evening, she replied. Yes, she would be interested in meeting up in person.

What to wear? Where to go? He decided on his well-cut jacket and a higher end restaurant.

They were both a bit nervous but the conversation flowed and she laughed easily. He was smitten.

He hadn't expected to meet someone warm and kind. Why was she still single? It turned out that her life for the last few years did not really have room for dating. She had been caring for others. Now she had the freedom to pursue a relationship.

 It was hard to believe that, like two needles in a haystack, they had found each other.  Persistence had paid off.

Cyclamen are a lovely indoor plant.  They are long blooming and will rebloom again after their dormant period if they are given the proper care.  Cyclamen have a corm and should be watered from the bottom so that the top of the corm does not get too wet.  Sit the cyclamen pot in a container with a couple of inches of water and let it remain for half an hour. Then put it back in its decorative outer pot.

When the leaves start to yellow and die back, usually in late spring and summer, gradually decrease the amount of watering. When all the leaves have gone, just water enough to barely keep a bit of moisture in the soil. Too much water and the corm will rot, too little water and the corm will dry out completely. In the fall, start watering a little more and the corm should sprout some leaves. Give it a light fertilizing and soon it should be blooming again. Cyclamen enjoy bright light but not strong direct sun.

Cyclamen leaves have interesting patterns on them that add to the beauty of the plant.

Some cyclamen are winter hardy but the ones bought at the grocery store are only hardy to zone 8 so definitely a house plant.