A Story - "Rewriting The Story" - and Butterflies and Insects in the Garden - ( Monarch, Giant Swallowtail, Damselfly, Praying Mantis, Baby Grasshopper, Mud Dauber Wasp, Bumblebee)

A Story

Rewriting The Story

"Amanda, the hospice nurse, arrived at Margaret's home and, as usual, found Margaret settled in her bed with a cozy hand knit shawl draped over her shoulders. Margaret's daughter, Julia, was helping her to drink a nutrition milkshake.

"Good morning, Margaret," Amanda said cheerfully.

Margaret didn't answer as she had become nonverbal as the dementia had progressed.  She did, however, glance at Amanda briefly before going back to her drink.

"Anything new I should know about?" Amanda asked Julia.

"She seems about the same. I got some new lotion which is helping with her dry skin. I've been making sure to turn her every two hours, even at night. So far no bed sores."

"You are taking such good care of her, Julia. You're a real blessing to your mother."

Julia smiled at the compliment. Her mother no longer recognized who she was, had forgotten her name almost a year ago. That's when the story began to be rewritten.

The relationship between Margaret and Julia had been contentious over the years. Margaret was so often critical of Julia, and reminded her regularly that she was disappointed in Julia's life choices. Julia had moved to the other side of the country to get away from her and spent decades building a life without her mother but it still hurt that they were estranged.  When her mother developed dementia, Julia felt sorry for her mother and came back to help with her care. At first the destructive patterns of behaviour were present but slowly as her mother became more confused, the conflict lessened. Her mother forgot her old grievances as her memories faded. When finally she no longer knew who Julia was, the tension was released.

Margaret had enough money to pay for full-time care givers in her home but gradually Julia took on more of the care herself. She imagined that she was taking care of a mother who had loved her and that she was just returning the love. Sometimes Julia just sat in the recliner in her mother's room as her mother slept and she reinvented the past. A trip to a beach resort that had been ruined by her mother's constant badgering was transformed into a story about them both having fun in the surf and shopping for souvenirs. She pretended that her mother was proud of her career as a teacher and that she hadn't disparaged her for not becoming a doctor.

Julia spent extra time making her mother look well.  She brushed and styled her hair each day.  She made sure Margaret's nail polish was well done. Even as Margaret became bed bound, Julia picked out pretty clothes for her to wear spending extra money on adaptive clothing that were easy to get Margaret in and out of.  Every morning, she gave her mother a massage with lotion soothing her skin and relaxing her muscles. 

Sometimes her mother smiled at her in a way she never had before and she let Julia hold her hand, and gently rub it. In those moments, Julia felt she was in a loving relationship with her mother. She was able to block out the nasty years. A part of her knew that this was a fantasy but she didn't care. She wouldn't have much time left with her mother and she needed to create this new story while she could."

I've been happy to have some monarch butterflies visit the garden. They always like purple coneflower. A few feet away there is some young milkweed. I'm hoping that next year, I will see some caterpillars, as well, as mature monarch butterflies.
 

Viewed from the side, the monarch's colouring is more subdued- more light brown than orange. 

Several Giant swallowtail butterflies have been flying around the yard. They are the largest butterfly in Ontario but aren't much bigger than the Eastern tiger swallowtail.  They also like the coneflower but I have seen them sipping nectar from the marigolds and coreopsis, and even pansies as well.

Viewed from the side, the colouration is the opposite of the open wing colouration.  It is mainly pale yellow with black markings instead of black  with pale yellow markings.

The Giant swallowtail also has a small red and blue accent in the middle and near the back of its hind wings.

Another visitor to the garden was this bright blue and black damselfly.

For about three days, this brown Praying Mantis hung out in the half-barrel planter among the pansies and carnations.  Such an interesting looking insect. I really like his pointy fingers on the front legs. Mantis are not good fliers so I have no idea where he came from or why he left. They are a good insect to have in the garden as they will eat other pest insects.

This is a young grasshopper. Not generally viewed as a positive inhabitant of a yard as they eat various plants.  However, he is pretty cute and possibly he will end up being lunch for one of the larger birds that frequent the garden.

There are many kinds of wasps.  This one is a Mud Dauber wasp.  They are generally a quiet wasp and do not bother people, unlike the yellow jackets or hornets which can be very aggressive.  Wasps can help with pollination and also eat garden pests.

This pink agastache is very popular with the bumblebees.  Any agastache (hyssop) will attract bees and other pollinators. Agastache is a sturdy plant and can survive winter in zone 4- 6 if the fall and spring weather isn't too wet.  Otherwise it can be grown as an annual.  I started these plants in mid March.

A Story- "Nature's Friendship" and Coneflower, Sweet Pea, Bicolour Phlox, Lily, Pink Polka Dot.

A Story 

Nature's Friendship

After a last word of encouragement to the dependable perennials, she gazed round the full view of the gardens.  It made her smile to know that her drops of sweat had soaked into the soil.  Something of her would still be here.  A hummingbird whizzed by on its way to the feeder.  The different birds who had nested on her property and raised their families would be part of her legacy.  The next generation would know to come back to this haven.

She leaned her head back and admired the trees that had grown so tall over the years.  They had sheltered the house in winter, cooled it in summer. The wind in their leaves had whispered sweet songs to her.

But it was okay to move on.  It felt right to start a new chapter.  She walked over to her car.  As she pulled out of the driveway,  she prayed that the new owners would be blessed with many happy moments.

 All the echinacea flowers from the center to the right of the photo are on one plant. I've never had so many blooms on one plant - I counted at least 15 flowers and buds.

Some lovely fragrant sweet peas that I grew from seeds I saved last summer.  So many of the seeds germinated that the plants are rather crowded in the pot.  That means each plant has fewer flowers but it doesn't matter.  They still smell lovely.

This is all one plant. It was originally all bi-colour but now some stems are solid.  I like the combination of the different stems. The solid pink flowers match perfectly with the bi-colour flowers. Phlox has such a wonderful fragrance.  It's one of my favourite scented flowers.

I also really like the fragrance of lilies.  Some people find it overpowering but I enjoy it. Lilies are a dependable plants as long as you aren't plagued by red lily beetles.  I used to have trouble with them but I started inspecting the plants in May and getting rid of any beetles I saw and after a few years I was no longer troubled by them. I just squashed the beetles.  With beetles, I find the best way to catch them is to put one hand, palm up, under the leaf with the beetle and then try to trap the beetle with your other hand.  Usually the beetle will suddenly drop off the leaf but it will fall into the hand below.

Three pink polka dot plants that I started in spring  2024 and overwintered last winter in the basement.  They are in a nine inch pot and add a nice pop of colour in a part-shade spot that tends to dry out. I water fairly regularly but they can stand some dryness.  They can be  an alternative to coleus.

Echinacea

I have a few different echinacea varieties in the garden and I have tried other ones that have not survived the winter.  This one is, I think, Hot Papaya.  It opens very orangey and changes over a few weeks until it is quite a dark rusty red.  I find the plant is rather weak and needs more watering to get it growing. 

This pink pompom variety makes lots of flowers but the stems are very floppy so that's disappointing.

A  regular pink variety. Very robust with lots of flowers and strong stems.

This is Green Twister.  I started it last year from seed and I'm quite happy with it.  It's fairly tall and has very strong stems.  I will probably only get 2 flowers per stem this year but I am optimistic that next year it will bush out.  I have four planted near each other so I hope to have a nice patch next year.

I have another green variety, Green Jewel, but it hasn't bloomed yet.  I find the plant small and slow but when it finally blooms the flowers last a long time. Only a couple of flowers per plant and not a very tall plant so a bit disappointing on that front, but the flowers are very well formed.

This is not echinacea, it is rudbeckia but it blooms at the same time and works really well with echinacea.  It can be a bit of a bully in good soil but if it's planted with other strong plants it is a great addition to the garden.  Super dependable and tons of flowers until frost.

The balloon flower with more flowers open.

Supermoon lily.  I really like the pale yellow colour with rusty spots.  It has a knock-out fragrance that you can smell from 10' away if there is a light breeze.